How to get over a Break Up and Start Again

Valentina
Jul 9
3 min read

Updated: Jul 10

Understanding Grief and Growth After Love Ends

Breakups are among the most painful emotional experiences we go through. Whether it’s a slow drifting apart or a sudden betrayal, the end of a relationship can shake your sense of self, security, and future. And while every breakup is different, the emotional aftermath often has a familiar shape: grief, confusion, self-doubt, and—eventually—healing.

In this blog, we explore different types of breakups, the emotional journey that follows, and how to cope with the strong feelings that can surface as you begin again.

Different Kinds of Breakups

1. Breaking Up While Still in Love

Sometimes love isn’t enough. You may care deeply for someone but know, deep down, that the relationship isn’t working—perhaps due to values, timing, or unresolved conflict. This kind of breakup can be incredibly painful because there’s no clear villain, just a difficult truth: two people can love each other and still not be right for one another.

What it feels like: Conflicting emotions, longing, guilt, second-guessing

What helps: Reminding yourself why you made the decision. Avoiding false hope. Setting emotional boundaries.

2. Being Left

When you’re on the receiving end of a breakup, it can feel like the ground has been pulled out from under you. Especially if it came unexpectedly, you may feel abandoned, rejected, or blindsided.

What it feels like: Shock, disbelief, sadness, anger, loss of control

What helps: Allowing yourself to grieve. Avoiding the urge to chase or fix it. Reclaiming control over small daily routines.

3. Being Cheated On

Infidelity adds another layer of pain—betrayal. It shakes your trust, not just in your partner, but often in yourself. It can trigger deep insecurities and questions like, “Was I not enough?” or “How did I not see this?”

What it feels like: Rage, shame, confusion, loss of self-worth

What helps: Understanding that the betrayal reflects the other person’s choices, not your values. Therapy can help rebuild trust in yourself.

Understanding the Grief of a Breakup

A breakup is a kind of loss—the loss of a relationship, shared dreams, and the future you imagined. So it makes sense that we grieve.

You may move through common emotional stages like:

Denial – “Maybe we’ll get back together.”
Anger – “How could they do this to me?”
Bargaining – “If I change, maybe they’ll stay.”
Depression – “I’ll never be okay again.”
Acceptance – “It’s over. I’m ready to move forward.”

Grief doesn’t follow a straight path. You might feel okay one day and crushed the next. That’s normal.

Coping with Strong Emotions

Feel what you feel
Give yourself permission to cry, get angry, or sit in stillness. Pushing emotions away can make them louder later.
Limit contact (at least for now)
Taking a break from communication—including social media—can be essential for healing. It’s hard to move on if you’re constantly reopening the wound.
Don’t rush yourself
You don’t need to “get over it” quickly. There’s no race. Healing takes time.
Lean on the support around you
Talk to friends, family, or a therapist. Let people remind you who you are beyond the relationship.
Rebuild small routines
Daily structure gives you stability when your emotional world feels chaotic.
Be mindful of avoidance
It’s okay to distract yourself, but numbing with alcohol, dating apps, or overwork can delay healing. Try to stay connected to yourself.

Starting Again

Eventually, the grief will settle. Space will open up. You’ll start to ask:

What did I learn from this?
What do I want from future relationships?
What parts of myself do I want to reconnect with?

Starting again doesn’t mean jumping into something new. It means reclaiming your sense of identity, purpose, and possibility—on your own terms.

You are not broken. You are becoming.

When You’re Ready, Therapy Can Help

Breakups can bring up overwhelming emotions and old wounds. You don’t have to face them alone. Therapy offers a calm, supportive space to process what’s happened, reflect on your experience, and begin rebuilding.

At TheSpaceForYou, we offer a compassionate, confidential environment where you can: